something for the weekends

Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?


A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both Disappear atnight.





Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?


A: Because they are tired of using their own.





Q: What's common between men and video?


A: Both go backward...forward. ...backward...forward. ...backward.....forward. .. stop and eject.





Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?


A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if itdoesn't come means you are in big trouble.





Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?


A: A teabag.





Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?


A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.





Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?


A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the babylooks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.





Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as Ihave advised?Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.





Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito entersthe girl's skirt.


Guess where it would have bitten?


Answer: The boy's hand.

know your job. . .

Here's something that I want to share with you people. Hoping for a better future.......

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, Father, remember Psalm 129. The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129. The priest apologized, Sorry sister but the flesh is weak. Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory".

Moral of the story: Know your job, if you are not well informed in your field, you might miss a great opportunity.

friends won't let you fall. . .

When you put down your foot and decide to stop having a bad day,

you'll find, to your surprise, that it actually works!

Most of the things we let ourselves get upset over seem unimportant a week later, and a couple months later, we can't even remember them.

SO

Be Happy Even On A Bad Day,

You only have bad days if you think you're having one! ! !

guys rules. . .

i received a funny mail so i'm sharing it. . .

it was forwarded by many others before it came to my inbox,

so here it goes.. . .

Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"> > ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are
Don't ask us

1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is too tiring to keep asking.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the shotgun formation, golf or fishing.


- thanks to Nurul who shared tis with me. . . Kudos. . .
- i know niz gonna be furious to see this. . . haha!!

what are you? ?

i've seriously have no idea what type of people you are. . .

and i hope we can find a proper label for your species. . .

i'm sic working with peepz like this. . .

i need better surroundings. . ..

in the meantime,

found something to finally cheer me up,

must be the song. . .

new aspirations. . .

... because yesterday I was on leave!

Ha ha ha ha!!!

tonight, picking her up from school. . .

=)

deprived of my sleep. .

I'm so fucking dead tired because of the recent unfortunate event.

I really really really have no chucking mood for anything at all.

All I want now is to sleep for a few days and to stop explaining to every jackass

why I look so rundown lately or what happened

do you chuck? ?

*to enlightened those peepz who is confused about my commonly used word. . .

You know how sheer boredom can sometimes result in an occasionaly brilliant spark?

Well, a couple of working mates and me have decided that since the "FUCK" word is construed as a frowned-upon rude word,

we've decided to replace it with a more subtle sound-alike word...

that being "CHUCK"

The usage is still very much in the same context.

For example, instead of saying "FUCK YOU", we'd say "CHUCK YOU".

Or used in a constructive sentence as such, "this idea is so CHUCK up, it's so CHUCKING pointless!".

And common lines like "please don't chuck your belongings all over" would take a whole new perspective.

What we hope to achieve? To totally eradicate the word "FUCK" and hopefully, in years to come, one would say, "you're so CHUCKING sexy, lets CHUCK tonight!" or "I want to CHUCK my penis into you!"

Doesn't it all sound so much more less crude?
CHUCK yeah!
Dialect speaking friends are not forgotten as well.
You can use the word as such... "CHUCK chee bye" or "CHUCK ning nah beh". The usage is limitless, depending on your creativity.
Join us in our CHUCKING campaign and start spreading the gospel.

Say no to FUCK and yes to CHUCK! Have a chucking good day!

breaking down

I feel goddamn down and I don't expect anyone to understand or offer any compassion / sympathy. Spare me any advice too unless you truly walk in my shoes and go through the many frustrations that I'm experiencing. No comparisons to the blind busker at the Orchard MRT underpass either. Our degrees of suffering is not on the same parallel path. Don't wish to explain or elaborate further. You have a good week ahead. I know mine is going to a long crappy one. I'm really really really in a fucking lousy mood. Please stay clear. Not in the right frame of mind for ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!




Somethings are easier SAID than DONE!

wad the chuck

I've never really made it known but...

I REALLY HATE IT when...

My actions or words are misinterpreted or misunderstood and I'm not even allow to explain myself. Sure, I can shut the fuck up... but what's the point. Really? When I don't even have the right to elaborate what my intentions really meant?

So much for TWO-WAY COMMUNICATION!

Even in a court of law, the defendant is allow to present his/her case without being struck down first.

Seriously fucked-up!

on another note, i noticed this yesterday. . .

you gotta agree to it. .